The View From My Last Day of Summer

The view from my weekend at a B&B with some amazing girl friends.
Cedar's On The Brazos

Glen Rose, TX

Distance

With such a history behind us,
And my future straight ahead,
Why the distance between us,
And silence in my head?

Surrounded by my loved ones,
With a life that's going well,
I seek you in the hard times,
but when good, where do I dwell?

I walk the walk and talk the talk,
But hidden deep inside,
I feel that something's missing,
Like part of me has died.

I say I want you close again,
But no action do I take.
Why do I sit and wait,
As my heart continues to break?

I miss that feeling all around,
To know that you are near.
I'm to blame for distance,
As I drift from you, I fear.

I pray for you to come to me,
But you been here all along,
I know the ball's in my court now,
But I keep doing it all wrong.

I hope this is a beginning,
To push me back towards to Truth,
I don't pray for things of this world,
My prayer is to be with you.

Pray for Guatemala

One year ago,  I took a leap of faith and headed out with a group of 15 others to Zacapa, Guatemala to a small orphanage and church there.  I didn't know much about what I was to do there except that I felt like the Lord was calling me to be present and to love kids.  Many would say a week is short, but that week had more impact on my life than so many weeks all put together... I was broken, moved, inspired and filled with joy.  While I have spent a lifetime trying to find joy in the things I have, what I do, or where I live, these children were just happy to be.  We embraced without hesitation, spoke in a language of hugs, and experienced the love of Christ in each other.  I finally understood what grace looks like.  I went to Guatemala hoping to give, and I returned having been given so much. 

Yesterday, 15 more people from my church left for Zacapa, Guatemala to do just as I did last summer.  I am sad to not be going with them, and yet excited for the impact that they will have there.  Please pray for those who serve... for safe travel, for open arms and hearts, and for those precious children in Guatemala.

 **  This is a video I helped to make upon our return home last summer in an effort to call others to action.**

Stuff in your teeth?

One of the most embarrassing things that can happen is to spend an entire evening with some large piece of food between your teeth without realizing it until you look in the mirror at the end of the night.  The list of people that you talked to and laughed with runs through your head as you slink to the floor in embarrassment.  "Why didn't anyone tell me!?!" you think to yourself.  So... we make this agreement with close friends and family to always tell us when this happens.  Sometimes we even tell strangers when they have something in their teeth.  In an effort to protect us from alot of pain and embarrasement, we ask for just a moment of it from those who care for us.   

If we are willing to tell friends, family and sometimes even strangers about the junk in their teeth, then why are we so scared to share the gospel?

Thirsty

Panicked, his eyes began to search the landscape, looking for something to quench the dryness in his mouth.  He felt thirst from the tear ducts of his eyes down to the cracks in his heels.  He was dry... parched... and longing for something to quench him of this feeling.  

Exhausted, he dragged his feet across the ground, feeling as if he couldn't go one step further.  He could feel the heat coming up from the ground through his shoes and into his body.  With dizziness taking over his ability to walk straight, he decided to sit down on the ground.  He leaned up against a stone circular wall.  With his hands barely holding his head up, he breathed slowly as he tried to make a plan of where to turn next.  Leaning his head back in exhaustion, he all of a sudden realized that what he was leaning against was not just a wall, it was the surrounding wall of a well.  With every ounce of hope, he pulled himself up to look over the well wall to see what lay deep down in side.  Leaning over the edge, he peered down into the darkness, but he couldn't see anything.  Defeated, he plopped back down onto the hot ground.  

Just minutes later, a man approached the well with a bucket.  "It's empty".  The man looked down, surprised to see someone sitting there.  The man with the bucket smiled and lowered his bucket down into the darkness.  A few seconds passed and the man began to pull his bucket back up.  To the tired man's surprise, the bucket was full... overflowing in fact, with water.  It glistened as the sun reflected off the surface of the liquid.  Once the bucket reached the top of the well wall, the man handed it over to the man resting on the ground.  "He who believes in me will NEVER be thirsty."

Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty"  John 6:35

image by Christians @ Deviant Art

Since Before Your Birth

Dear Friend,

          We've never met, so I hope you don't find this letter weird.  I've known you since before you were born.  I knew your parents and so I was very much looking forward to your arrival.  I guess I was just writing to let you know that I love you.  I prayed for you as you were being made in your mother's womb.  I knew that you would be beautiful, smart and kind... I knew that you would sin... but most importantly, I knew that you would love.  

          I'll wait for you until the day when you are ready to meet.  Just call on me, and I'll drop everything to be there for you.  You are so precious to me and I can't wait to be apart of your life.   

                                                           Love, 

                                                              God
 

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

Her Gifts

I see her gift of service,
As she reaches to help another.
Her heart breaks for the lonely,
She puts her needs behind all others.

I see her gift of leadership,
Strong yet gentle to those below,
Always looking for new challenges,
For ways in which she'll grow.

I see her gift of wisdom,
Seeking the Word to guide her way,
While she doubts her knowledge could be enough,
Her heart won't lead her astray.

I see her gift of discernment,
I pray she sees it too.
She knows what feels both right and wrong,
But the veil still blocks her view.

My friend, I see your beauty,
Even when you feel it's lost.
God gave you so many gifts,
And it started with the cross.


For my dear friend MLS.

Mess

She yawned, jaw wide open as far as it would go, and then she reached her arms to the ceiling in a stretch, hands in tight fists.  With heavy eyelids, she scrunched her forehead in an attempt to make the headache go away.  She felt like she had been run over by a bus...  What a mess my life has become...  she thought to herself as she pulled herself out of bed.  Pushing through the dirty clothes all over the floor, she reached the bathroom door.

Frozen, she stared at the reflection looking back at her in the mirror.  Tears began pouring down her face.  She wanted so badly to see someone else in the mirror; she didn't even recognize this person.  Who is that stranger?  While some would say she is pretty, she could no longer see the beauty that was buried deep down inside.  Her heart was pure, but she had let her outside become so filthy.  Layer after layer, she had covered herself with masks so that she could fit in with the world,  slowly covering over the once radiant beauty beneath.  She was living a life of sin, filling herself up with things to satisfy the immediate, and surrounding herself with friends who lacked the integrity that she had always looked for... What have I done?  I've worked so hard to be myself, that in the process I have lost myself...  She pressed her lips together tightly in attempt to collect herself and stop the tears.  Turning away from the mirror, she counted to five as she took a deep breath... in... and out...  She wiped her face with the sleeve of her t-shirt and pulled her bed head back into a ponytail before looking back into the mirror...  Today, I want things to be different, Lord.  It's time to clean up this mess. 



Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  James 4:8

It's time for HIM...

Dear Lord,

We are merely human.  You created us.  We are your creation. 

Things have gotten really bad.  So bad that we don't know what else to do to stop it.  You created even the smartest of us and gave us brains technology, equipment and processes for such things.   

Sometimes things don't go as we plan.  Maybe because it's not really our plan anyway.  Well, I'm done praying for the leaders to figure out a solution.  I'm now calling on YOU.  You are almighty and powerful... and capable of miracles and this one is big... 

To all beauty that you created... the seas... the skies... the animals... the land... and us.

-Amen.

Mantra- Philipians 4:13

When times are the worst,

I must say to myself,

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

When all faith seems gone,

And I feel all alone,

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

When fear blocks my eyes,

And the dark is all I see,

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

When there's not enough time,
To get it all done,
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

No matter the challenge, 

Or the mountain so high,

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

With words I find peace,

As I stand proud and brave,

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Dragon Inside the Teacher

Ode to patience, precious patience,
Soothe my angry head,
The calmness comes with smiles for all,
From morning until bed.

But something evil inside the kids,
Can take it all away,
And soon the dragon leaps around,
And this is is what she'd say...

"Oh evil child, please do sit down,
don't ever speak again,
Or I will tear you all apart
You won't know where you've been.

Keep your head from turning round,
And tune your ears to me,
Or else those ears will soon me mine,
And deaf you'll surely be.

I don't care that you have to pee,
You shouldn't have drank more,
To write a pass would be the end,
So don't leak on the floor.

You're here to learn, so listen up,
You'd better take some notes,
Or you will wish you never lived,
And hope your body floats.

You need a pencil, did you say?
What're ya gonna do?
Did'ya plan to pull it out of air?
We'll then get some paper too!"

Yes there is a dragon there,
She holds her tongue instead,
And come to teach another day,
With patience and a tired head.

For Sunday Scribblings, Topic: Dragon

The Escalator

As she entered through the sliding doors, she squinted slightly at the brightness of the sun reflecting on the stark and shiny tiles that lay across the floor.  She looked around, right then left, surveying the large lobby to see which direction she would go.  As she moved forward through the large entry, at the back of the room, she discovered stairs reaching up as high as she could see.  Nearing, she realized that the stairs were actually an escalator, each steel stair moving with a small hum.  The stairs seemed to be moving downward and she was puzzled as she looked around to find a corresponding escalator going upward... she looked... no stairs?  Despite the challenge of the stairs she felt drawn to go upward.  She walked quickly and began up the escalator as the stairs continued to move downward.  With each large step, she only made a small bit of progress upward.  One foot after another, she practically ran up the stairs toward the top.  Reaching a point of exhaustion and defeat, she stopped and stood still on one of the stairs.  Sinking, she began a downward slope back towards the tile floor.  Her heart sunk to her stomach at this small moment of weakness and she quickly began walking against the stairs downward movement.  With each step she got closer and closer... now she could see the light... a man, with arms outstretched, as if he was waiting on her.  She continued to climb and climb, and the stairs continued to move down.  She drew closer and closer, and as she was able to finally touch his fingertips.   A calmness came over her.  Her climb didn't stop, but she continued to stay near him.  She felt his warmth... his comfort... and she knew that she was loved. 
 
Drawing near to Christ is not as simple as jumping on an "up" escalator and riding to Him.  Staying near Him is hard, like swimming upstream.  Riding down with the sinners is easy, but going against the ways of the world is so difficult.  If we stop seeking a relationship with Christ, the distance will slowly become so large that He will slip out of site... out of mind... out of our heart.   

I want to seek Jesus.  I want to keep running towards Him... against the world... against what is easy.   I want to see Him, and know that He is near always.  

I seek you with all my heart;  do not let me stray from your commands.  Psalm 119:10

Recipe for Life

A recipe can be a guide,

To figuring out what works.

The path that’s sometimes winding,

Facing challenges that will lurk.

A recipe can be a secret,

For us to figure out.

The greatest lessons are often learned,

When we are left without.

A recipe can be a tradition,

Given from old to young,

The passing of our family,

And the beginning of our own.

A recipe can be a reference,

Like God’s Word is for life.

To seek direction when times are hard,

Finding strength in every strife.

A recipe is a beginning,

No need to start from scratch.

So much support around you,

Encouraging this precious match.

A recipe is a lot like marriage,

A mixture of lots into one.

While sometime it’ll be hard,

Don’t forget it’s also fun.

A recipe can be a gift,

Given with love for others.

For love’s the greatest gift of all,

From Sisters, Dads and Mothers.

For Spencer and Shelby 
to celebrate their marriage... 5/15/10

Whiskers

My dog looked at me with head tilted to the side every so slightly and eyes wide and curious, as if to say "don't you want to play?"  While I didn't have a minute to play, I reached over with both hands and stroked the sides of my dogs face.  He flinched and closed his eyes as I touched his whiskers.

Ever thought about your dog or cat's whiskers?  Did you know that whiskers actually have an important  function for dogs and cats?  Well, whiskers are each an intricate receptor sensing movement and vibrations.  Each whisker is twice as long and thick as ordinary hair and it is set three times as deep providing a rich supply of nerve receptors.  These whiskers aren't merely a misplaced facial feature, they are in fact a way to sense the presence, size and shape of nearby objects.

I feel like I too have this innate ability given to me by the Lord to sense when things are wrong, or when something bad is about to happen.  There is a feeling deep down in my gut that pushes me to move from a situation or to do the right thing.  Sometimes I feel uneasy about situations that are not pleasing to the Lord.  It's like when I became a Christian I was given a set of whiskers to help me to sense Satan's presence in my life so that I can turn away when he nears.  What a blessing it is to have such sensitivity to handle life proactively instead of always dealing with the consequences when I've already run face first into sin.

Ever feel like you have whiskers? 

Runner

I call myself a runner.

This is of course a term I use loosely.  I run about twice a week and I enjoy it... so I call myself a runner.

Like many runners, my running frequency ebbs and flows with my desire, free time and the weather.  Not being the most athletic specimen on the planet (stop laughing), I can't just jump back into running 4 to 5 miles after a period of time where I haven't jogged at all.  In fact, that first run back is HARD.  I mean, after several months of not running, I can barely run a mile without stopping to catch my breath or stretch out some muscle that is tightening after having not been used in a while.  Not to mention that the next day will be ridden with soreness as I regret having not jogged sooner.

Just like running, we also can't just jump back into our walk with the Lord after having been without Him for a long while.  The training is a slow upward climb back into his arms.  Their is soreness as we stretch back into a routine.  With each step, we get closer and we feel the warmth comforting us and His arms welcoming us home.  All Christians ebb and flow in their desire to seek the Lord, the free time that they have to spend in His Word and the seasons of life that push and pull us in different directions.  He is so constant... even when we aren't.  Our walk with the Lord isn't made up of short sprints and it isn't a race to finish before other Christians... it's a marathon... and He's gonna run it with us!

Beauty in the Hills

Mills College, Oakland, CA, March 2010

I lift up my eyes to the hills where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth -Psalms 121:1

The Fight

I swing around with such a force,
I'm knocked onto the ground,
Searching for a breath of air,
My heartbeat the only sound.

He knows my every weakness,
From jealousy to pride,
Embarrassed of the things I've done,
My thoughts I try to hide.

He sits upon my shoulder,
To taunt and push me down,
He tells me that I'll gain so much,
Yet hurt is all I've found.

Dear Lord, I need you on my team,
For it's battle that I face,
I feel I can't keep fighting him,
He has me in an embrace.

With fists held up, I'm ready Lord,
I'm moving toward what's real,
To fight for love that deeper than,
Any earthly joy I feel.

The fight is done, the bell has rung,
No longer will he win,
Oh Satan get away from me
And take with you my sin.

The Cup

As she neared the table she gazed across it's surface to see one solitary cup sitting in the table's center. The closer she got, she realized that the simple white foam cup had her name on it's side. But why? "What was it filled with?" she wondered.

All of a sudden the empty room filled with people who were shoving and pushing their way through the room without even taking notice to the table. With each person who entered, a cup appeared on the table, different names on each.  As she moved around the table in an attempt to somehow guard the cup and it's contents, something from behind her caused her footing to slip and she fell into the table bringing it crashing to the ground.  

As she pulled herself up, she looked over to see the cup... on its side... empty.

When you get knocked over in life, what spills out for all to see?  What do you fill your cup with? 

Ignored Call

As the playful tune rings from her purse, she digs to find the source of that familiar noise. Dig... dig... dig... yes! Finally in the depths of her purse, she is able to feel blindly for her small vibrating cell phone and pull it out of the abyss so that she can see who is calling. As she glances at the screen, she decides that she doesn't have time to take the call, and she thinks nothing of pressing the "Ignore" button.

Whatever the reason may be... "I don't have time"... "I don't want to discuss what it is that he/she is calling about"... "I'll just let them leave a message, it will be easier"..."he/she wants something and I don't want to give it to them" We've all ignored a call... or two. We've all become so accessible with cell phones and yet, with that access and information comes more freedom to make a choice about whether we want to respond.

Sometimes I feel as if the Lord ignores my calls... I get down on my knees and with prayer and petition, pour out my heart... but I hear nothing, he doesn't answer. "Is the Lord ignoring me?" I say to myself.

The Lord is the almighty, all knowing, and a wonderful listener... he hears ALL of our prayers, and with his vast knowledge that is beyond our understanding he will answer all of our prayers. Sometimes the answer is "yes"... sometimes it is "no"...and so often he says "not now". He never ignores our calls... he is merely waiting to answer until the time is PERFECT acording to his most perfect plan for our lives.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20

Are you there God? It's me, AimClaim.

China Town, San Francisco, March 2010

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret.  Psalms 37:7