Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Say Anything!


Ok, so you gentlemen out there may not know what I am taking about, but read along anyway. As teenage girls, we used to read this magazine called YM. Every girl's favorite section was the one called "Say Anything" where girls would write in their most mortifying moments so that other pre-pubescent girls can read and be like "OH MY GAW! Can you believe that! I would have died!" etc... etc.

While there were always about 5 or 6 new stories in each magazine edition, each and every story pretty much had the basic ingredients : a crush, being on your period, falling down, revealed boobs, and the party of the year that your reputation depends on. The result is something like this...

Ok, so it was the day before Matt Stone's 16th Birthday party and I was totally stoked to be the hottest girl there. I headed out with my best friend Misty to find a totally rocking outfit to steal Matt away from his snobby cheerleader girlfriend Jenny. So we stopped by the Limited Too and as I walked in the door I spotted the most BEAUTIFUL! pink mini skirt... I HAD TO HAVE IT! Misty and I went to the tiny dressing rooms in the back to try on what I call my "rock Matt Stone's world" skirt. Just as I was pulling the skirt up around my knees, I stepped on my bonnie bell cotton candy lip gloss, lost my balance and went crashing out the dressing room curtain and onto the floor. As I was lying in the middle of Limited too, I looked up to realize that not only was I on the floor with my "rock Matt Stone's world" mini skirt around my knees, my left boob had fallen out of my bra ! And what was worse...my maxi pad had flown out of my panties and had hit Matt Stone (who was there shopping with that hoe Jenny) in the head, knocking him unconscious! Matt was out cold for quite a while, but once he came to his senses, he said that he loved me and we have been together ever since!

Ha-ha! Please... share with me your greatest made up embarrassing moment!

4 comments:

Katie said...

Aims, BWWWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh my gosh, memories (not of this paticular event - thank goodness) but of YM and the "say anythings"

And can I tell you that I BUSTED OUT LAUGHING at the part in your story where the guy gets knocked out by the flying maxi pad.

Hmmm, I need to think on this one, I'll be back.

tricia said...

Ha, okay, in YM there was ALWAYS this storyline at least once every issue when I was younger...

"Every year I have the coolest end-of-the-year pool party at my house to celebrate summer. This year I was so excited because my crush, Mike, was coming to my party!! I had been eyeing him all year and this was finally my chance. I went shopping weeks before with my friends to pick out a totally perfect pink bikini. The day of the party, the worst thing that could have happened did...I got my period! I was so bummed, but I figured I would still have a fun time. The party was going really well, and Mike asked to talk to me. I jumped out of the pool and pulled on my new, white, Juicy Couture terry skirt. Mike and I were totally flirting when he said that he saw a loose string on my skirt and before I knew it, he had yanked on the string, and my tampon came flying out! I was mortified! And they called me tampon girl the rest of the summer!"

JCR said...
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JCR said...

First of all, that story is disgusting...you're darn right Matt Stone got knocked unconscious...G-ross!!!!

Ok...so my sister used to read this trash to me growing up. One staple of this column was the girl who dropped bean-laden bombs while making out with her newest crush. I'm not sure who would have been more mortified if I were in that situation...the girl or me...the guy who just got farted upon.