Excerpt from When Harry Met Sally...
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright :Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright :They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
So what do you think? Can guys and girls really be JUST friends?
1 month ago
9 comments:
That is a very difficult question. The first question I have is-Is either of them married? If they are, then the spouse should have some type of relationship with that person. I have a friend who is a priest-when he was a seminarian we became friends. My husband was jealous. Until my husband and my friend became friends (they both love audio equipment and music)it was difficult. My husband was jealous. Now it is fine. (He's also several states away now.)
I think married people have to be extra careful.
Single people is a different story.
Now that I have said that-everyone is different and each person needs to follow the Lord in their situation.
yes
I agree with you Patti that when you are married it is a TOTALLY different thing, you have to be very careful. That is a fine line, and very situation based. Even as a single in a serious relationship, I find it harder than it has ever been... I have had to make sacrifices...but, its worth it :)
In regards to singles, I have always thought that guys and girls COULD be friends. I have been "one of the guys" for most of my life. But, lately I have been starting to think about this alot. It's not a question of whether anything would ever happen between guys and girl friends. But, like Harry says, its about the WANT? Do they want it to be more? or is it really just a friendship.
So, really, the question should not be "can they be friends?" it should be "can they be close friends?"
good question Aims, and I think it depends on the guy, the gal, the expectations, the communication, and about a million other things
I'm not sure there is a firm answer to this question so I'm going with "maybe"
Patti raised the most important question about whether one or both are married. I had two best friends for 10 years who were girls before I married my wife. We are still friends, but I don't hang out with them without my wife - even though I was never sexually attracted to either. So yes, I think it is not only possible to be best friends with a member of the opposite sex, but I actually think it is a good idea. Being around the two girl friends of mine for so many years helped me in figuring girls out (still have a long way to go though), which also helped me in marriage. I do not look to make new friends who are girls. I have no interest in that being that I am married, but I still love my friends who I knew when I was single. Blog friends are okay in my book - although I guess it that depends also. For me, my female blog friends are sisters in the Lord and therefore it is completely pure.
Good thought-provoking post!
I think they can, but only casually if they're married. Not really going anywhere together. I have great guy friends at work, and naturally gravitiate more towards guy friends than girls. Lately, it's kind of shifted though, because I spend time alone with girls and I don't with guys anymore. I have a great time with them, but in a group setting, so it's different. Harder to get closer when that's the case.
unfortunately i learned the answer to this question a few years ago. it can't happen. one of the two will eventually want more with the relationship! it's inevitable.
Of course.
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